So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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