That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
