And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
