I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
