I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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