do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
