Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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