I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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