He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize