so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
