I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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