Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
