hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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