Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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