just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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