So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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