Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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