Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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