i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
