Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
