the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
