dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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