Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am naked and annoyed.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
