I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
