did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
