I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
