im drinking this country out of the recession.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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