I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
