Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
