He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
