can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
