we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
