You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
