I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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