i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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