There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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