Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When are your genitals available?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
