College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
