the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
