I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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