We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
