we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
