no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
