do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize