Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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