im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
