I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
