Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am spending my child support on dildos
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
