I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
