just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
