obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
