ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
