I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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