That's intense
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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