Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
