Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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