That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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