so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
