The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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