The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
