I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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