How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
