In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
