this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize