I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
