Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
