I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
