Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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