the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
