Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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