She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
