capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
