how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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