Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
