That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Someone signed my nipple.
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