You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
