omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
soo... how was my night?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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